Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
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