Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
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