It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Randomize
