After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
