Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
