I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Randomize
