I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
