He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
