They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
