You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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