First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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