haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
