tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
