If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize