Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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