Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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