I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
