coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
