i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
