Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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