i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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