Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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