I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
