i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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