After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Randomize
