It's Friday. Sex?
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
