your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
