I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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