Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
