Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Randomize
