he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Randomize