I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
