youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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