Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Randomize
