non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
The struggles of a small town man whore
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
