if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
