i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
