Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
We are all done wearing pants today
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
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