I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
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