Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Randomize
