can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
