Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize