IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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