What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
