i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
