So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize