Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
