stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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