Screwed.edu
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
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