i don't plan on having that self control this summer
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
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