you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Randomize
