I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
