hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Randomize
