dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Randomize
