Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
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