I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
