I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Randomize
