I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
