I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
