got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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