You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
i believe in u and ur pee
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
