I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
