I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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