Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
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