I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
dude. I can hear the air.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
