I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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