just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
