So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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