you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize