how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
